For the boy who thinks God, love and loving me are different things.

Perhaps it is too much

This offer to be loved

To be known

To be missed

This obligation to grow

It was from the back of a dark club, the light on your face, that I wanted to know you first

 

In the airport where you held my heart

Told me it was ok to be everything I am

You said it so confidently I didn’t hear the catch

And in my bed, one hundred nights I became aquatinted with the loneliest boy in the world

Laughed with u

But needed to explain

Do you even know how you ended up covered in paisley sheets?

Or my middle name?

We quick to be butt naked still hiding everything

Boy, your secrets don’t scare me

I have made love to the devil and carried Jesus to full term

I birth miracles in my sleep and walk on water first thing in the morning

So there is not a thing I ain’t ready for

Your conviction is fine with me

It’s just hard to believe your perspective when your values fluctuate daily

Leave Jesus outside when u make love to me

It must be difficult to not feel like a sinner when you love being inside of me

Crave my touch and drink my thoughts

But claim I am unworthy

Tell me I aint Christian enough

But I am high priestess of a full congregation every Tuesday night

These are the psalms I write

I got a stack of hymns that smell like you

There is no difference between those quick to judge you and the way you name me

Throw rocks and forget where u live

O’ ye of little faith

Can’t see the Forrest for the trees

Can’t hear the message for the messenger

Watch what u speak

Watch what u claim to know about me

Hold my name where u keep your scars

But still I am left wondering how Jesus speaks

You hose of a man

You yard work undone

With hoe in hand

Claim you pray real

Like we didn’t kneel in the same pews

Call out to the Lord in your time of need but wont contemplate long enough to understand a woman you name unworthy

Say you prefer found but you would rather stay lost

I don’t know the man hanging on your cross

Confess and all is forgiven

1. I’m sorry I wanted to love you

2. I’m sorry I thought u would want to be loved

3. I’m sorry your yoke doesn’t bleed

My God how we claim a name that is not our own

Use it recklessly

And it is no wonder the church is as confused as it’s people tend to be without a book meant to be a guide not a cage

My God loves me for me

For being an expression of everything perfect

My God lets me see value in those others would name unredeemable which is how you, covered in sin

Sparkled pure and beautiful

So while u focus on hell and titles

I will live a life I am unashamed of

I hope I see you on judgment day

I will piece u back together

Collect your shards and love you no less than the way I imagine Jesus would

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