On paper.

I’m better on paper
Everything is better on paper
Things are clear and exact
I hardly say everything I mean
Except in moments like these
Vulnerability is my friend
My kind, smart friend
I should start here:
I’m sorry
I’m not as clear as I think I am
I live in this skin/mind
Take it for granted
I am not as translucent as this world sometimes lets me pretend I am
You are miraculous and busy
I.
am.
miraculous and busy too.
A cosmic occurrence occurring
And I want to spend my freedom in your palms
Want to see myself in the things you create

You are miraculous.

And charming
Funny on accident and I have had you close enough to kiss too many times not to have
This is not a “I’m seeking attention from an unavailable man” poem
This is
I am asking for love if you got some for me
Don’t tell me anything I can’t believe
Because something about the way you say everything
Has my listening
Has my attention
Has me

You.
have.
me.
For whatever it’s worth
This rare occasion
This happening for a reason
This is not typical
Is not a story many can tell
Don’t need or want a closeness like this
Usually.
Have it together alone
Grow Alone
Love alone
Usually, let them catch up once I’m gone
Tell him I love him from a distant space
I pack and break fast
no look back
I go
And wish them well with a bat of the eyes and a kiss in the wind
Most men, wish I cared like this
2 am poem in bed
Heads up, is what this is
I am slippery and scared
Fumble words when you matter to me and it’s hard to be mad at you because
I want to like you even when it hurts
Even when the disappointment discovers me
5 years old waiting for my father to come home
Window is where I stand
Waiting for the door to swing open or phone to ring
I want you to call me
When you say you are going to
I want breakfast in both our places
And dancing
Laugh when I’m crazy because isn’t that what this should be about
Friendship and lovers

That’s what I’m about.

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