learning to fly. (free write)

I remember toying with the idea of going to the roof
7 floors above my 7th floor loft
I could no longer afford
Climbing over the railing and learning to fly
My boss unapologetically cut the hours she promised I could work
The newest of 10 building manager would also give up soon
But not soon enough to not leave the notice of late payment on my door for all of the neighbors to see

Downtown felt like a death trap

My love was coming over less
Giving up seemed like the right thing to do
Got no love for the way flesh crashes
How concrete has no give
Sometimes life is all take but
I am not selfish enough to leave such a mess for some stranger to clean up
Stranger seeing the splat of me and wondering my name
My pieces in their dreams
He would not know I was a poet
That I had dreams
That I loved harder than concrete
He would not know I didn’t want to give up

I am not selfish enough to not consider the way my mother’s heart would break
How whatever was coming would go to the next resilient soul
Brave enough to wake up tomorrow

No one told me how to do this
But I was doing the best I could

See sometimes toying with the idea of death is the only way to know how much you want to live

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One thought on “learning to fly. (free write)

  1. Loved it. Tried to like it but I’m not on wordpress… or my phone just sucks. Either way I felt it. Instantly flashed back to moments I contemplated learning to fly and decided life was a better natural high.

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