before the next book begins.

When you are done fucking for fun
When your heart is at the center of things
Boys will no longer be interesting
Casual conversations, a waste of valuable writing time
Your friends will feel like a burden if they are not striving to be at their best

Just know the shift is occurring

Your last loves will carry no heartbreak
They were practice
They were a game you knew better than the bet on
You will listen to their poems you purchased on iTunes
Will wonder where your royalty check is
These poems about you
About a time neither of you will ever accurately recall
But you know these poems by heart
Mouth the words while noticing how much your body has changed since you last had his hands on you
You will smoke weed when you are lonely
It will distract you from the thoughts of the man you are beginning to envision
Know his hands and parts of the outline of his frame

There is a girl you think of too often
Nothing about the two of you is the same
but you want to be naked with her
Want to know her mouth on your own
Want hands in hair and shallow breaths
You have seen her often enough
In public enough places
You know her better than her friends do but never noticed the lower half of her body
She is thinner than you imagined her to be and she wears cloths like a disguise

She is stuck on her ex too

Moons ago
You would have taken this as a launching point
Now, you sleep alone
Masterbate before bed
Keep the sent of lavender and sage in the air as a reminder to be present
And wait
For the next book to begin to write itself

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