I promise. Aug. 22, 2013

It is rare that I make a promise

Don’t want it to haunt me in the dead of night

Remember that time you said you would, but did not

Rings like C A N C E R to the body

 

I don’t promise often

 

Only do what I want, when I want

With a full heart or not at all

And the rest will have to settle somewhere between my lips and my intention

 

But there comes a day

When I am more than wild woman

More than what I’ve accomplished or seek to and as that day approaches

You should know:

I promise to remember how to love

In the face of hurt in my heart

I will love you

Foolishly at times but brave

I promise to forgive

To ignite the soft of me and surrender to that everything ain’t gonna grow like I grow

Aint gonna know what I know, how I know

And that is ok

There is still love in separation

Still love in letting go

 

I promise to love myself

To honor this girl with dreams she can’t stomach yet but tries hard to

In the morning, I will pray to a god I hope to be more like and she will laugh knowing I have forgot already that she loves me unconditionally

Just a silly girl wanting more and more and more

But having everything I need already.

 

I promise to laugh hardest when life is most challenging

I promise to tell strangers they are beautiful because they haven’t heard it in too long

I promise to dance across the floor when i’m excited

I promise to be excited

To sit with my mother to remind her she makes amazing things

To listen to my father, to honor the repetition in his stories

To watch as my nephew as he blossoms

I promise to call my sister

To love her because she grews our family when I might not

 

And none of this comes easy

None of it will be overnight

I might be sacred and stubborn at first and when I am

I promise to lean into it

To let life make a masterpiece of me

To say what needs to be said in the moment and trust that I am prepared

I promise to listen to the way god moves

I promise to be moved

To not stop noticing the details in the day

The way you hesitate before speaking

Or the nervous girl at the table next to me

I promise to never stop picking up on energy

And feeling responsible for humanity

I promise to let this fire rage

To drink more water and carry this skin like a gift

I promise to breathe on purpose

And fall in love without fear

 

I promise. I promise. I promise.

 

 

 

 

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