She says: thoughts and reflections on aging

My mother tells me to use up the day
Open the windows
Take a walk
Be the best I can be where ever it takes me
Come home and spread the story

Mary Sue is 60
I have never met her but I know she is stunning
Told me the most of her life is behind her now
Is suppose to have the answers by now but is just figuring out the questions
Says she doesn’t want to waste a moment
Her body hurts some days
And boobs really do head south
But she teaches yoga
And married the right man
She remembers where her keys are
Says 60 is great and awful and wonderful and big
Tells me to claim my space
Not to accept anyone who can not love me fully
Says to never fear

Tessa is 8
Says she never thinks about the future
Doesn’t think about getting married or even high school
She is just happy to play

At 19 Melora thought everything would be a party
She is tired and over worked already
Between college, a boyfriend and her job
She is tired already

Nancy is perfectly Puerto Rican
Uses sound to triangulate her position
At 46 says aging is fucked up
You are as smart as you are ever going to be just as your body is breaking down
Says she would have been more insane about skin care and not smoking
Says she would have been more adventurous
Married the love of her life last week
Married a woman in a age where marrying a person you love is still up for debate
She is nothing if not adventurous
I’d say

When I was 10, I couldn’t wait to be an adult
I am told I am one now but play hide and seek mostly with my responsibilities
Find myself under the covers waiting for tomorrow to come
But I have kissed most of the lips I wanted to
I have loved most of the people I needed to
Attempt fearlessness often and remember to count my blessings
My grandmother would be 100 now
Her mother grew up in the tail end of slavery
My grandmother spent time as a maid
I’ve make a living speaking my mind

I am reminded of a poet, my friend Mayda Del Valle
She wrote
“Ain’t nothing new under the sun
Ain’t nothing new about death and dying
About lowering a body into the ground
Ain’t nothing new about regrets”
And I felt that…

When you are old enough to feel the gravity of your existence
Choices must be balanced
New expensive shoes OR rent
A beach day OR overtime
Ice cream OR healthy digestion

Aging is not for the faint of heart

It is about grabbing this moment because it is the only one you’ve got
About picking yourself back up and hoping not to fall again
It is about faith and trust and love
Forgiveness and growth
About keeping your word and attempting to be a good person

This life is about making damn sure when your final breath comes
You have said and done everything you needed to
So that when you meet your maker all you have left to say is
“Thank you”

Mayda Del Valle:


13 thoughts on “She says: thoughts and reflections on aging

  1. By some magic I found you Natalie! Your words touch my heart, soul & mind
    every time.
    I am so happy and will share you with all those important women in my life.
    Best wishes & happiness to you!
    Every come to the east coast??
    Namaste, Shushee

  2. I work for Dressforsuccess.Org. Check us out. I would love to have you or your video to show our women to motivate & inspire!
    You have a fabulous gift … And a beautiful body! ;^}

  3. I am mesmerized by your words; your written line breaks speak to me.
    You have a beautiful body…
    and mind and soul and heart and way of thinking.
    Thank you.

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